The Next Season

As promised, here is the post about what the next season holds for the Howards.

Well, Jay and I are actually looking into buying a house. Believe it or not, after 12 different spaces, we are ready to stay in one for more than a year or less. We decided a few months ago to stick around Springfield for the foreseeable future. We (gladly) placed our PhD aspirations on the back burner for now and decided to focus on building up Spare Key and creating that long term intentional community that all of our different living situations and relationships have led us to.

We are really excited about the house hunt. We are looking for a house that enables us to add to our list of people we have lived with. We want to continue our adventure in community through this major purchase. We have no timeline on this process. We are waiting for the just right house to pop up in West Central Springfield, the neighborhood we have grown to love.

The idea of “settling down” has often made me turn up my nose and think, “that’s not for me.” Well, in those seasons, settling down
wasn’t for me. We find ourselves in a different place in life now. We are ready to be here. I constantly have trouble being fully present and content where I am. I am always looking at what’s around the corner. Where will I live next? What job will I do next year? What is community going to look like for us tomorrow? Over the past 2 years I have worked on that. I have come to value the present. While I still look ahead, what I see next is still in this same neighborhood with our same friends at our same jobs. And I’m okay with that. I no longer feel the need to move every 12 months in order to change things up or in order to pursue something new. (Although, I did feel the need to deep, deep, deep clean our house after being here 12 months).

I am reading back through Jonathan Wilson Hartgrove’s book The Wisdom of Stability and I came across this quote,

“We find the stability we were made for as we come home to life with God in community with other people. This is our true home. But settling in isn’t always easy.”

Well, I think I am finally ready for that stability. I look forward to seeing who joins us in our search for stability as we continue pursuing community through long term intentional community.

Living with People

In recent months I have been contemplating how many people I have been blessed to live with in my life. It’s kind of a silly number. In my short 28 years, I have lived with 23 different people. Jay’s number is a bit higher than that. Is that normal? Probably not.

For 18 years, I lived with my family as I grew up in a tiny town. That provided a steady and stable 4 other people to share life with. Then I entered college. Since I moved away from home ten years ago, I have lived in 12 different places in three different cities with 19 different people! Is that normal? Probably not.

Simply put, I am drawn to community. That is the reason I have lived in so many different places with so many different people. I have loved every living situation I have had. From a college dorm room to living with a family from my church to a newlywed apartment to a huge house with 8 other people. They were all sweet and joyous and trying and challenging.

It seems like everyone I talk to has an awful roommate story to share. Perhaps I block out the bad stuff, but I really can’t think of any stories to contribute during these times. I can’t put my finger on why that is, but I am thankful for it. I’m so grateful for the 23 people I have been blessed to share my life with in this way. I am looking forward to adding to that list in the next season. I’ll write about that next season soon. This blog was just to reflect on our past communities.

Some of my roommates.

Spare Key Community!https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=607970292629464&set=a.607970582629435.1073741826.607967872629706&type=1

Spare Key Community!https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=607970292629464&set=a.607970582629435.1073741826.607967872629706&type=1

Our little community of adventurers here in Springfield have started our own blog to share our journey! We all take turns posting weekly. Check it out!

 

Blast From the Past

My dear friend Bethany has got me into pinning some of our old blog posts on Pinterest as a way to get readership up and tell the world about our adventures. She’s smart and social media savvy like that. Well, as I was looking back at old posts, I came across some really fun reads! I thought I would highlight some of my favorites here and maybe you would want to go back and read some of them. A lot of them are pretty humorous and heart warming. Enjoy!

Why Live in Community? 9-28-09
This is an old post about why we want to live in community, but still pretty accurate. Perhaps we will write a new post based on this one with current reasons why we want/have community.

“We don’t want to live in community so that it can change us into people that we are not. We desire community so that we can change the world to bridge the gap between what is an what should be.”

Community of Squirrels 2-25-10
This is just a fun post about feeding squirrels.

“Eat with some animals today.”

Rethinking Art 5-19-10
Here is a cool post about living in the present.

“Let’s thoroughly enjoy the foreground and let God paint the background as He wills. Perhaps if we rethink the way we paint, then we will savor our life in the present rather than just making other plans that will likely go a rye.”

Considering the Birds 7-25-10
A post about not worrying after a pretty alarming event occurred.

A Picture of Love 9-7-10
This one is a picture post of this really cool tree in Pittsburgh with names carved in it.

Walking in a Winter Wonderland 1-15-11
This is a fun post about walking in Pittsburgh during the winter.

 

Gosh, I could keep going with so many more. I still have two years worth of posts to look at. I am so thankful we have this blog that we keep coming back to. I hope you enjoy reading it. It’s been a fun walk down memory lane. Jay, we have had a lot of great adventures together. Let’s have many more!

Community: What do YOU want?

My husband and I recently had a very good conversation about what we want in terms of our community life. It was good to get on the same page about things. Jay was very insightful and expressed that we need to be clear about what we want, and then find a way to make it happen. And it will happen. He had to assure me of that several times, because I kind of feel like our ideas are far-fetched dreams that seem unlikely to produce fruit. It is possible that I am just in a somber mood, though.

So, I thought we should tell the world what it is that we want. Here goes!
 

“Our ideal community consists of…”

Our ideal community consists of several small (perhaps tiny?) houses where individual families live. That way, Jay and I would have our own small space to call our own, while other community members—whether they’re married, single, with children, no children, etc.—would have their own spaces, too. Together, the community would share and maintain a common house that is larger (perhaps just a normal sized family home). In my dream, the common house has a very large table for shared meals and a kitchen big enough for many people to prepare food together. Perhaps there would be a room for a library and a room for entertainment. Maybe there’s even a guest room or two for family and friends who come to visit.

I can see us working together on a large garden and preserving much of what we grow. We could share vehicles so that not everyone has to own a car. Everyone can have their own jobs outside of the community but work together on various community projects.

This community doesn’t have to be in the middle of nowhere in the woods, although that is an option. It could be in the middle of Springfield, maybe within walking distance of some staple locations like a grocery store or work, maybe in a neighborhood that could use a little extra love. We are pretty fond of Springfield, so anywhere around here is a good location for us.

 

At the core of everything would be a spirit of intentionality and cooperation.

At the core of everything would be a spirit of intentionality and cooperation. I don’t want to live in just some subdivision where I barely know my neighbors’ names. Really, what I am describing is pretty much just your average neighborhood with the beautiful added element of intentionality with one another. I crave those shared life rhythms like meals together, and work together, and prayer, and book discussions, etc.

Well, that’s pretty much it. What do you think? I ask because I am truly curious about who else in the area might have similar dreams. Who knows—maybe there are lots of people out there who share these dreams, but just haven’t got the word out about their dreams because they, like me, feel like the dreams are too far-fetched. If something you read here resonated with you, let’s get coffee sometime! Better yet, come over to my house and we can share a meal. Let’s share our dreams together.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.”

-Henry David Thoreau

Why We Only Have One Car and Why It’s Okay If You Don’t

I walked to the grocery store to grab some cream cheese for a delicious cream cheese, tomato cucumber sandwich today. As I walked there, I passed a young lady who was having trouble with a wheel on a stroller that held her 6 month old daughter. I stopped to help her for a minute and then she was gratefully on her way. 

At the store, I was tempted to purchase several things that we did not really need such as orange juice, wine, and olive oil. I was deterred from purchasing them knowing I would have to lug those heavy items up the hill to get home instead of just throwing them in the car.

As I left the store to make the short walk home, I was greeted by a really pretty butterfly. It landed on the sidewalk in front of me. Then flew further up the sidewalk and landed until I approached again then flew further up the sidewalk again. This butterfly and I played leapfrog in this way all the way up to my doorstep. It was almost like that butterfly was making sure I made it home safely and once I was safely inside, it flew away to watch over another traveler. 

We got a Toyota Corolla after the wreck in hopes that it will last forever.

When I sat to eat my tasty sandwich, I pondered what it would have been like if I had drove to the store instead. I wouldn’t have been able to help the lady with the stroller. I would have come home with far more groceries than I really needed. I would not have had the pleasure of journeying with a butterfly. I wouldn’t have got the small bit of exercise walking required. I likely wouldn’t be writing this blog post right now.

 

When Jay and I got married, the idealists in us decided that we would never have more than one of anything. Only one car, one computer, one television (if that!), one table, etc. Since that time, life has set in to change that a little bit. We currently have three computers (see yesterday’s post to find the reason for this), only one of which is truly functional. We have two tables because it worked out to have two tables and I got to refinish one and now it makes me really happy to use it. We have two desks and more pillows that any couple should really have (but gosh darn, they just look so good on the bed and are super cozy!) 

But, one thing that we have stuck to in our original plan is to have one car. I have had a lot of people ask me why we only have one car, and many people have thought we were pretty strange for not following the norm in this area. Well, here are some reasons we consider ourselves very blessed to just have one car:

1. It’s cheaper! We are super fortunate to be 26 and just now have a car payment. We would still be driving our old paid off car if it hadn’t been totaled in a wreck last spring. Cars are expensive to maintain, and I’m grateful we only have to worry about one.

2. It makes us coordinate and communicate more. Pretty self-explanatory. If Jay needs to be across town at 3 and I need to be on the other side of town at 4, there is some fun planning and orchestrating that takes place. Which leads to my next point…

3. It allows us to rely on others more. I have a hard time with this one pretty often. I like to be independent, but it turns out, that’s not really what we were made to do, and that’s for sure not what community is about. For example, last April, a car pulled out in front of me on one of those crazy days when it was sleeting in the Spring. Both cars were damaged pretty badly, but I wasn’t too far from home. I called Jay and he, of course was quite worried and alarmed. I was still pretty dazed and confused from the impact, so I asked him to come get me on his bike. No, his bike doesn’t have a sidecar or anything. I don’t know what I was thinking. He was smart and a little less foggy-brained and called our good friend Rob. Within minutes, both of them were there in Rob’s car where we sat to warm ourselves while we waited. That’s the kind of inter-dependence that having only one car leads to.

4. Having only one car forces us to be intentional about where we live. We currently live within biking or walking distance of both of our jobs, our school, a grocery store, Walgreens, the farm where we get our CSA, lots of friends, another local farm, the Greenway trail, the dog park, and several other parks. This is not coincidence. We would like to always live within biking or walking distance to at least one of our jobs so that this one car lifestyle can last.

5. We bike and walk so much more! A few weeks ago Jay took the car out of town for the weekend while I stayed home. I won’t lie, part of me dreaded not having transportation, but it turned out to be one of the most delightful weekends I have had in a while. It was nice to bike all over the place. Whenever I walked anywhere, Nutmeg joined me. She loved not having a car around!

I’m sure I can think of lots of other reason why having one car works for us and why it is important to us. I mean, who wouldn’t want to walk home from the store with a butterfly?

 Do we think every couple should only have one car? No way. Honestly, we don’t care what you do as long as it works for you. I mean, maybe four or five cars is a bit excessive, but hey, whatever floats your boat! We are thankful that life over the past four years has allowed us to joyfully manage with having only one car. Who knows what will come our way though. We hope that one car is a sustainable long-term thing, or maybe we can even get down to no car. Whoa! Now that might just be a little too crazy.

 

 

The Craziest Year Yet

I think I just completed one of the craziest years of life yet. At least one of the craziest summers for sure. Jay and I started on this little adventure called grad school last August. With a year under our belts and a year to go, I can’t help but reflect back on the past year. Can I blame grad school for not blogging? Like ever? At all? I think so. Let me explain…

We moved back to Springfield from Liberty to begin our adventure in higher education. Since moving a little over a year ago, I have had a grand total of six jobs (at one point all at the same time!) and we have lived in two different apartments. I have accumulated 28 hours of graduate work already. I took 9 of those hours this past summer which added up to 3 hours online and 6 in a face to face course that met four days a week for over four hours every day. Oh, and I worked around 20 hours every week. Just for giggles (or to make me depressed, I’m not sure which one) I counted how many pages I have written in the past year for only grad school related stuff. It came up to 472 pages. I think that’s reason enough to break from blogging. 

So, yeah, it’s been a pretty busy year. But I don’t mind it really. This wasn’t a post to complain or rant, just to update. I like feeling productive. I like knowing that what I am working towards and what I am doing right now makes a difference, even if it’s only in a small way. 

I have a week off between ending this summer semester and beginning the fall semester. I think I will spend it reflecting and pondering how blessed we are to be where we are. I’m hoping that produces a few blog posts. But, I’m not going to promise anything, so don’t  get too excited. Oh, and I might just bake some bread. Wanna come have some with me?

 

Dogs I have Loved

Amber and I recently got a dog! Yay! (Pictures to follow in next post.)

At any new beginning, it is good to pause and remember the path that led us here. So, I have complied a list of the dogs that have befriended me over the course of our lives so far.

– – –

Taffy

First, there was Taffy. Taffy was my family’s dog throughout most of my childhood. Dad brought her home from work when I was little, and Taffy and I became fast friends for the next 12 years. I vividly remember picking her up at the backdoor when she was a pup, carrying her inside, and putting her in my toy box.

Taffy lived most of her life outside. In the summer she liked to dig a big hole under the tree-house and lay in it while my brother and I played on the basketball court nearby. In the winter, in her younger years she would just lay anywhere until she was covered in a snow drift—only her nose stuck out of the snow. She liked to come inside more as she got older.

She was smart,  good natured, and loved to play soccer. We named her after the color of the pull-taffy we tried to make one time. The candy wasn’t very good, but Taffy was wonderful: the perfect childhood dog.

– – –

Rosey

The next family dog I remember is Rosy, the golden retriever (pictured above, left). She lives at my Mom and Dad’s house currently. She is a big, grizzly-bear shaped ball of dogness. She likes long walks in the woods, and she’s good at the agility course my dad built in the back yard.

She had an unfortunate run-in with a caged skunk a while ago, and she still smells to this day. But we love her anyway.

– – –

Max

Amber and I got to live with Max for a year when we lived in Pittsburgh. Max, aka Lord Maximus, aka Old Man Hoffman, is the loyal companion of my dear friends Scott and Kari. He’s very loveable. Max and I have a lot in common. For example, we are both fond of Frisbee, peanut butter, and Scott and Kari.

– – –

Walter

Walter Batman Tankersley, (Wallydoodle, Wallaby, Polly Wally Doodle all day) lives in Liberty with our friends Jess and Tyler. He was named after Walter Brueggemann, one of Tyler’s favorite theologians. This beagle/jack russell mix has tons of personality! He is very expressive and affectionate toward humans and dogs alike. When Amber and I lived in Liberty, I went with Walter to the dog park often, where he turned gregariousness into an art. These days, Walter and I both get really excited whenever we visit each other. Walter is probably one of my very favorite pooches.

– – –

Orion

Orion is Emily and Dan’s loveable schnauzer! Orion is enough to make everybody want their very own schnauzer! I got to dog-sit for him once so far, and we got along really well. (In fact, I’ve never met a dog I didn’t like. Dogs are pretty agreeable creatures, on the whole. Steer clear of the meanies.) I always look forward to spending more time with Orion, the mighty hunter, and with his wonderful owners

– – –

Luna

Luna is a very gentle and well behaved dog. She belongs to Rob and Dora, and she is one of my new puppy’s best friends. When my pup gets a little older, I hope she and Luna get to play together often!

– – –

Bois d’Arc 

Pronounced “bō-ˌdä(r)k,” or simply, “Bo,” this wonderful blue healer mix belongs to my friend Rob. Bo seems to be pretty fond of me, probably because I usually have treats in my pockets. Bo is a great trail blazer—he recently went with us on a backpacking trip and climbed the rocky peaks of Garden of the Gods in Illinois all by himself! Bo is hardheaded. I mean, literally, you could punch him in the head and I don’t think he would notice.

– – –

Other dogs

I fall in love with almost every dog I meet, but I can’t include every dog I’ve met here. Above, I am pictured petting a stray puppy in a village in Thailand. Among the more important dogs not pictured in this post are Molly, the Buhligs’ Australian Shepherd, and Amber’s childhood dogs, Cole and Candy. I hope I’m not forgetting anybody.

– – –

This concludes my stroll down memory lane. Next time, I’ll show you some pictures of my and Amber’s new puppy. Thanks for reading!

Jay’s Seven

House church is reading the book Seven. This book is about various month-long experiments in simple/healthy/sustainable living. It inspired us to try our own individual simple living experiments.

February: Junk Food

Last month I drew up a list of seven snack foods. My rule was that I would eat three normal meals a day with no restrictions, but between meals I would only snack on these seven approved foods:

• plain popcorn
• dark chocolate
• fruits
• vegetables
• peanut butter and crackers
• coffee/tea
• beer/wine

The principle behind the experiment was simplicity: the idea was to simplify my menu. So, instead of thousands of candies and cookies and chips to choose from, I only snacked on these seven snack foods. (Again, I ate three healthy meals a day, and I often had dessert with the meal.)

Outcomes: I definitely tacked more desserts onto the end of my meals than I normally do. (Loop hole!)

I successfully ate zero bbq potato chips. (If you know me, then you know this is a huge accomplishment!) I found it was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. It was wise to include one salty snack (popcorn, of which I ate a lot) and dark chocolate.

March: Media

This month, I’m going cold turkey on media and technology. (However, as you can deduce from my writing this blog post, it’s more like lukewarm turkey.)

Specifically, here is what I am giving up this month:

• TV: I can watch only one episode of one show per week. (This week was Downtown with Amber.)
• movies: unless pre-planned, social, or free.
• video games: cold turkey. I think I’ll reward myself with a Wii if I make it to April.
• smart phones and apps: cold turkey.
• books: I can read only one fiction and one nonfiction book at a time.
• radio: Cold turkey.
• internet: No facebook, wikipedia, google surfing, etc. Only work related email. I installed a little widget onto my browser to monitor this.

This list will constitute a significant reduction in my media consumption. No more Doctor Who marathons. No more reading 35 library books at a time. No more Mario Cart with Travis. No more NPR on the way to school. No more playing field runner or shell raiser games.

Instead, I’m replacing those seven things with:

• More journaling/writing
• walks
• playing with dog!
• focus on work (teaching, and planning for the future.)
• focus on school (classes, and writing thesis.)
• Mindfulness (consciously and deliberately just sitting and paying attention to whatever is happening around me.)
• crafts (Mainly crocheting. I won’t be brewing this month, because my cellar is full.)

April: Waste

I’m also in the process of planning my April experiment. It will involve ways to reduce my resource usage in seven areas:

• transportation (bike or walk rather than drive if possible. Keep track of how many car trips I actually take in a month)
• garbage (keep track of how many pounds of garbage we throw out in a month)
• water (time my showers, use gray-water dish-washing in the sink (i.e. don’t run the water the whole time.)
• heating and cooling
• spending (frugality)
• food (locality)
• and continuing our current habits, such as composing, turning the lights off, etc.

More to come!

Experiments

Our little house church is currently reading the book 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jen Hatmaker. It is an excellent and entertaining read that I highly recommend. The general synopsis of this book from the author’s website: “7 is the true story of how Jen took seven months, identified seven areas of excess, and made seven simple choices to fight back against the modern-day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence.” It has been a refreshing read after several heavier books that we went through in house church.

We are also trying to implement some of the things we are learning from the book. For example, we are experimenting right now with our food consumption. I wrote a post a few months ago about simple eating where we ate 10 foods for a few weeks. That was quite a challenge for us. Right now, we are in the middle of “Vegetarian Februarian.” Our friend Tyler came up with this term several years ago, and we have played with it for a number of years. I think we have done vegetarian February for two or three years now, so it’s just a fun experience every year. It’s not a huge challenge for me because I am not the biggest meat eater in the world. My dad and farming grandparents are saddened by this fact, I am sure. It’s a fun time to explore new foods. For house church a few weeks ago, we made homemade spring rolls that kind of changed my life a little bit. They were so delicious and we got to play with rice paper. What a cool substance. If you have not made anything with rice paper, stop reading and go to the Asian market right now and get some!

For March, I think many of us are going to experiment with some sort of media-related challenge. This looks different for each person. In the book 7, Jen Hatmaker cuts out all 7 forms of media: TV, gaming, Facebook/Twitter, iPhone apps, radio, texting and internet. 

Perhaps I am in denial, but I don’t think I over-consume in the area of media. For that reason, it has been difficult for me to think of what to do exactly to challenge myself in the area of media. Right now, I am thinking I will try to use media for the purpose of truly connecting with people. I cannot count the times I have casually posted on someone’s Facebook wall that I miss them. I never followed it up with a phone call, detailed message or handwritten letter. Just a simple phrase that is backed up with no evidence that I genuinely miss that person. The purpose of media is to connect us to others, right? But how often do we fail to do this? Social media and the plethora of other ways to make us feel connected leave most of us feeling less connected on a deep level to those who are closest to us. 

So, for March, I am committing to use media for connection. I will send a handwritten letter, make a phone call or Skype, or write a well-thought out email to at least one person every day. I am going to literally write people’s names on my calendar so that I remember and don’t make an excuse that I ran out of people. So, mom, get excited – I am actually going to call you this month! Grace, I am really going to send that long over-due letter! Jess, let’s Skype! Who else wants to catch up? Leave me a message with your preferred contact method. I am looking forward to ending the month closer to those whom I love.

And hey, just for fun, I am going to use my time at work to get work done. (What a novel idea!) No more Facebook or Pinterest while at work for this month. I will actually write that thesis that is hanging over my head and get ready for teaching an undergraduate class next semester (more on this later)!

I will keep you posted on how I am doing throughout March. And maybe you will hear from me!